I'm Challenged

A few months back, I was having a conversation with my middle son; a conversation where he urged me to add Oompa Loompas to one of my stories, as if it were something that would happen in real life. Could you imagine? Holy shit, I can picture it now, Those funny little orange fuckers would come rolling out and be all like:

"Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do 

Nobody's as fucking stupid as you."

It's an Oompa Loompa sing-a-long!

Just what I need to narrate my life, How about saddling me with Jiminy Fucking Cricket for a conscience while you're at it? Because great fucking jumpin' jiminies, that'd be just swell.

Challenge accepted.